searching for the love i have always wanted

2007-03-09T23:13:00.000+11:00

finally finally finally finally!!! i managed to change my password... zzzzz... i forgot my password so i couldn't come in to blog... muahahaha....

ttmll is my bbqq liao........ kekekekeke.... be sure to be there...

ooo yarr... ii wanted to say about the ADAM KHOO course thingy.. that's real good stuff man...

Lots of THANKS to GARY and LEROY!!!

I am back!!!

2007-03-01T18:02:00.000+11:00

The good news is.... I made it to sec 5.. lol... ok kinda lame... but the real good news is... my BBQwill be on march 10.. and that is 9 days away from now... the reason for me having a BBQ is bcos... my bf (Mr.panda) and me decided that we should have a BBQ to celebrate our 1 yr.. muahaha... which is on March 11.... okok... let me stop here... I'll try to come here again as soon as I can bcos for now, my internet is down...gotta get down planning the food for my BBQ... yummy

....

2006-11-11T11:28:00.000+11:00

I woke up at 7.45 today... The first thing I did was to brush my teeth and wash my face.. Den.... I went to mop and sweep the floor... hey it is not usual ok... because how many people would actually mop and sweep the floor straight after they wake up ??? haha.. maybe I'm too excited for today ...

It's late night party for me... wahahah... hmmm... kk think I'm going crazy... anyways ... write till here only... and just wanna add in... today is me and my dear's 8 month.. lol.. muacks... love u lots lots..

stupid me

2006-11-01T00:00:00.000+11:00

haiyo... This is my second time writing an entry today... But you can only see one entry on my blog... because, the first time I wrote the entry, I didn't publish it.. So here I am writing another entry...

ok... here it goes again... Just returned home from work...haha... tired... Dear dear at granlink... I'm now waiting for my baby hamsters to open their eyes... lol... it has been such a long time since they entered into this world... yet... their eyes have not open yet... and ya, one of my hamsters is completely white in colour... and I'm wondering why is that so, since both their parents are brown and white in colour..

hmmm... many things have happened in the last few days.. and they are things I did not expect it to happen... I was not able to predict, nor forsee... But I just hope that history will not repeat itsef...

k bahh.. write till here only... 9pm ler... time to watch my show.. lol..

i'm back!!

2006-10-27T12:14:00.000+10:30

Hai... Almost a month since i last posted something on my blog... internet has been down for some time... now ok ler.. haha.. so here i am blogging again... have been working for the last few weeks near safra- the industrial area... Was sick on wednesday.... And i didn't had to come work on thursday and friday... My baobei laogong so sweet... He cook noodles for me... haha... hmm... delicious lor... I feel so "zi bei"... cos i dunno how to cook.. everytime dinner is he prepare for me de.. den i onli take forks and spoons... lol... haiyo... miss my laogong lots lots... muacks... oh yar... i forgot to add in something... I kept hamsters around 2 months ago... I still remember the date... It was on August 8 when my dad and brother bought the hamsters for me...Because it was the day after my birthday!! haha... DEN, one of my hamsters gave birth... and initially, I thought all my hamsters were female.. Suddenly, I saw 3 baby hamsters in the morning a few days back... They were red in colour... When I first saw them in the cage, I thought there were worms... lol.. blur hor... aiya, that time just woke up ma.. Gonna be at home the whole day today... Gonna miss my dear the whole day too.. muacks.. k bahh write till here.. continue some other day .... =p

2006-09-23T16:14:00.000+10:30

hmmm.. at my boyfriend's house now.. so I am here to update my blog.. haha.. hmmm.. know what... recently , I've met some people who tries to act so close to me.. what the hell.. can I just ask them to fuck off....? Please please please... DO NOT PRETEND TO BE ONE GANGSTER IN FRONT OF ME when you are just one guai kia okie!!!! I had enough of it... And i need my privacy so please get your fucking facts right and DO NOT ACT CLOSE TO ME ?? I'm tryin to control my temper ..... there are also people who thinks that my company is a hotel... harlow~ get lost man... had enough if yr petty attitude and think you are a prince ?? pui... disgusting... Just be yourself lar hor.. knn.. make me du lan only...

boring

2006-09-14T18:14:00.000+10:30

hmmm...here to fill up another entry.. it seems years since the last time i wrote an entry.. well, my internet have been cut off because the bill have not been paid yet.. haha... at my boyfriend's house now using his com but my boyfriend at camp.. so I'm going to go off pretty soon..
haben been updating friendster too.. life is boring except for i'm being loved by my dear dear.. haha.. sumtink shock me on monday.. about the new relieve teachers.. nothing to write leh.. lol.. hmmm... k lar.. gonna go home now.. =p love my laogong muackz...

dear dear give me surprise

2006-08-16T20:21:00.000+10:30

hmm..went to school as usual today... Coewe did not come because her stomach was hurting again...
Dear dear went to tekong to run 17km ?? or 7km ... lol... I also forgot ler... After school went to talk to see kuan... She told me something that happened recently...I think this has taught her a lesson.. On not to jugde a book by its cover... I only tell you what is meant for your own good, if you dont wanna heed my advice, its perfectly fine with me... because at the end of the day, you're the one losing out, not me... I just dun wan anything to happen to you along the way.. True enough, my words have proved themselves right... Hai... Alot of scheming people around... We just have to be on our guards everytime we meet new people..
Dear dear gave me a surprise today... He came to fetch me... Last few times were't so surprising because he gave himself off by asking repeatedly where was I... But today, it sounded so real that he was in camp... muackies... Prelims coming in 2 more days... Hai...

zZzZzZ....

2006-08-13T19:41:00.000+10:30

Shoo boring...At my dear dear house now... He's sleeping because he came back from guard duty this morning... Early this morning, dear dear and my didi(zhengui) cam to fetch me from my house... Then we went to Coewe's mother new stall at circuit road,somewhere at aljunied near Macpherson ITE... Very nice lor... I seldom eat prawn noodles from outside...Maybe I should say that I have never eaten prawn noodles because I do not like to eat prawns... But today I ate prawn noodles, because support my friend ma...Haha... Hmm... Wanted to smuggle my little hamster out today, but I scared I'll lose it, so I better not... Waiting for dear dear to wake up... See him sleeping so soundly, I can't bear to wake him up... Muackies... K dahh write some other time...

Bad dream

2006-08-12T12:47:00.000+10:30

Just woke up... As usual , here I am to do another posting... Hai.. Had a bad dream again... I already had 2 bad dreams for this week (including this one)... I told my dear dear bout it... Then he said its because I love him too much and kept thinking of him..

Hmm.. woke up missing my dear... Not gonna meet him today because dear dear hav guar duty tonight... Can only meet him tomorrow morning when he book out...

Boring morning...
-mmissingg eeuu-
-mmuackiess-

I'm touched by dear

2006-08-11T18:30:00.000+10:30

Today I went to school as usual... Every morning when I wake up to go to school, I will sms my dear and he will do the same.. But today, he did not reply me.. My dear has never off his phone when he goes to bed... So naturally, I was worried when I called and found his phone off... I then called his house to ask his mom if he went back to camp... Hai... Then do you know what I found out...? His mom gang up with him to bluff me... sad sad... Said that he was in camp but in actual fact, he was at home sleeping.. My dear wanted to give me a surprise...

Dear came to fetch me after school... Went to tampines inter to do some stuffs and have our lunch... I told my dear dear that I wanna go to bedok inter to get some accesories for my handphone... I am the kind of person who do not like to be alone... My dear intend to play games after sending me home.. But when we were walking towards the queue to wait for our bus, he kept asking if I really want him to send me home.. So I asked whether he wants to send me home.. He said it was 50/50... I felt sad .. Then I told him its okie... We can take the same bus but he alight first because the bus goes to the place where he play game and it also goes to my house...

I felt so sad lor.. But I kept telling myself it was normal for guys to want to play games so I shouldn't be selfish... Later my dear dear told me that he was just testing me to see how much I noe him... sad... I don't understand my dear dear... He told me Laopo more important than game... Game can play anytime but laopo cannot see everytime.. muacks... Love u lots lots dear dear.. Then arh.. when dear send me home that time , he very naughty... You know I know what he did can liao... Lol... Then dear said "nan ren bu huai , nu ren bu ai"... It mean that if a guy is not mischievous, the girl wouldn't like him.. Haha.. My translation not that good...

Today I talked to christina about hamsters.. Haha.. learn something about hamsters which is when a baby hamster is just born, it does not have legs or hands... SOO cute hor.... Gonna wait for my xiao jingjing and xao panda give birth(they are my lovely hamsters lol...)

Gonna decorate my phone later... Hee... Now go play dota awhile... Write again tomorrow...

Boring day...

2006-08-10T12:45:00.000+10:30

Woke up at 9.20 today... hee... first thing I did was to sms my dear dear... poor dear dear have to go back to camp today.. miss him lots lots... Then I lied on my beed till I was happy enough to wake up.. Haha... Change my hamsters' food den i tapped on the cage to wake them up to have their breakfast... Change their water for them too.. Today staying at home the whole day... Gonna bored me to death... Went to bugis yesterday with dear dear, geral and leslie... I saw this skirt which I like soo much but when I went to the fitting room to try, the skirt can easily dropped off.. Hai.. They didn't had my size.. So my dear dear tell them to inform him about whether they have any of the skirt of my size at other stores... Love u lots lots dear... Yesterday morning dear and me had a quarrel... Hai... But then okie ler... Poor coewe had stomach infection and went to the hospital... received her message in the morning but dunno whether she will be hospitalized not... Hmmm... write till here only bahh.. continue again when i'm free.. hee....

going to shoppin... hee

2006-08-09T12:21:00.000+10:30

Jus woke up then came to write another entry and then read up about how to care for my hamsters.. its 9.30am now.. Yesterday had a small quarrel with dear dear because I play dota with him budden I keep talking to guys... So he angry.. Hai... Budden now okie ler... Hmmm.. Later going bugis... haha... I wanna buy skirt.. So dear dear bring me go... i'll stop here.. maybe continue later in the night..

-mmissingg eeuuu-
-mmuackiess-

surprise from dear..

2006-08-07T23:42:00.000+10:30

Today I went to school as usual... Chityan,wei sena nd jian rong promised to eat my birthday cake in school today budden they never turned up in school... heng arh I finish up all the cake so I never bring them to school... lol... Coewe, michelle,zhen gui never come to school.. As for Seekuan I dunno you got come school not.. So I was with frederick during recess... Heng got him accompany me...Hmmm.. Dear dear had some stuff to do in the morning... Was worried for him... School ended at 3.45 today.. Was on the way to the bus stop to go home when dear dear called me... He told me he was in camp and he asked me where was I...When i reached the bus stop, I took out my ear piece to listen to the music.. Then when I turned around, I saw my dear dear.. Hee... Always giving me surprise attacks...Bought hamsters yesterday then dear dear say he wanna take a look at my hamsters.. So I brought him home to play with my hamsters awhile... Muackies... Took a look at my dear dear's blog... hee... shoo sweet of you arh... Hmmm... going to sleep soon.. Still have school tomorrow budden half day... Love u lots lots dear.. muacks..

My new pets to join my family

2006-08-06T19:56:00.000+10:30

I went to 85market with my father, brother and Grandma to eat today... It has been quite a long time since I went out with them... After eating, we went to blk 88 somewhere near 85market... My father was looking at fishes and I was just looking around... Then we came to one shop which sells fishes, birds and hamsters... The hamsters were just shooo cute... One hamster is going for the price of 9dollars... There was another shop also selling hamsters... one for 8dollars.. budden the hamsters there not cute one.. so big... not cute...so I bought the 9dollars one... Actually is my father and brother buy for me de... haha... They very cute... Next time i take their pictures ler den i put on my display... Hee... The hamster cage, house,food, and everything (plus the 4 hamsters) cost $80... so expensive arh... haha.. next time bored got hamster to play with me ler...

my advance birthday party...

2006-08-05T13:10:00.000+10:30

Just woke up from sleep... Now is 10.30am.. lol... reached home at 11.40pm... Slept at 12.10am last night... Thanks for all those who came for the BBQ and my boyfriend for opening the BBQ for me and his mother who made it all possible...haha... Hankun,jianrong,chit yan,wei sen,wahab
,qisen,meiqi,serene,wendy,gloria,michelle,ray,geraldine,leslie,audrey,my aunt,uncle,tiffanie and melody came... My boyfriend's elder brother friends also came later part in the night.. I guess what I did most that night was to take care of the children.. lol.. That made me so tired.. My dear was the one who did most of the BBQ-ing that night.. poor him... There were two BBQ pits linked together.. The other side was also celebrating someone's birthday... hmmm.. a tiring but an enjoyable day.. Love u lots lots dear... For that question you asked me when you sent me home, ask me some other time when the appropriate time has come.. haha.. Thanks for all that you have done for me.. bought the handphone as a birthday present and the BBQ for my birthday celebration... muacks... Go back sleep first later going out again with dear dear... hee..

missing you....

2006-08-03T20:52:00.000+10:30

Here to write another entry... haha... seems to be coming in almost everyday since I started this blogging thing..
Went to school with that puffy eyes of mine... But have since recovered... Gonna have a bbq tomorrow for my birthday... Hai.. I dunno if i should feel sad or happy...Do i still have the mood to go on with everything... ?
Came home from school missing my dear... The light to my future seems so dim... Can someone light it up for me...?
Hmmm...Was in school with a bad temper.. Din mean for that to happen.. But I wasn't feeling exactly well inside... Those who claimed they were my sisters and all , fark off...
Had enough of all your actings... You don't have to be with me now because I won't be with you when you are down and lost...
Those who really care for me are not by my sides at all.. except for my dear... One of them is Winnie...
Sometimes I still wonder.. If those times were an act of foolishness on my part... Wanna tell her i'm sorry... Hai... Because she was my one and only friend who would cry because I slashed my wrist and cry with me when I was sad... I felt a sense of guilt... I will never ever wanna lose a good friend like you... Never...
Had a talk with my dear last night... I hope everything turns out fine... I dunno wanna act happy when i'm outside and be sad when i'm at home... I wanna be happy... Not act... Hais

Will i be strong enough......?

2006-08-02T20:42:00.000+10:30

I dunno where should i start from.. i wish what i'm going to face will onli be a dream...but all i could do was to face up to reality...
how many people could actually understand the hurt and anxiety i am going through.. how many people can i tell to about the things i'm going through...

At the start of today, i was sad... I did something wrong and i apologised to my dear... He was sad... i guess i hurt his heart... i didn't mean to... i'm sorrie... once again i tell u i'm sorrie...
He came to fetch me from school today... He sent me home.. We were okay... Like normal.. Remember the times when we just started seeing each other.. We went through alot ... but there were so many sweet memories.. sweet moments...
I can still remember how sweet those times were... Can it always remain that way ... ? Can our fairytale last forever... I've got my answer... We can... I nearly burst into tears when you told me the news... I tried very hard to hold back my tears... Why is all these happening.. ? I wanna stay strong... I wanna be strong... Is there anyone there for me ? I noe my dear is here for me... I am there for you too... forever... If one day, U're no longer by my side, for a very long time, who can I depend on...? who's shoulder can i cry on....? I suddenly feel so sad.. so lost.. so devastated...

I do not wish to face my computer everyday to find myself crying everytime i type something in...
Can i spent the rest of my life just by loving you ...?
I just have too much to say... too much... The only thing I want to tell you that is on my mind now is...
Bear in mind , if something were to happen, just remember , I'll wait no matter what...
I don't want to lose another guy... A guy who is always there for me...
One who would brave all storms and weathers just to ensure my safety...
What can i do to help you ... ?
I'm so sorrie... I feel so helpless... If only i can stop the tears from flowing out of my eyes...

If I had a wish , a wish which would come true right at this moment , I would wish for the time to stop now...To stop the guy whom I love from leaving... To let him stay by my side.. forever...
I know there is nothing I can do to help... I can only stay strong... strong till the day all storms are gone.. strong till the day when you are safely by my side again..
I cannot promise you I will be happy... I cannot promise you not I will not be sad... I'm sorry.. I just love you too much.. All these are beyond my abilities...
If something really happens, Dun worry, I'll be here, the same place where you left me, waiting for you... no matter how long... I love you...I'll keep the promise we have between us....

my life ....

2006-08-01T21:27:00.000+10:30

haha... finally i have a blog of my own... after waiting for so long.. hmmm..
have since found a sweet and loving guy...He's panda... been together for 4 months plus... going to 5 months in 10 more days... really love him alot... He bought me alot of stuffs ... And could even pay for my hair rebonding.. But that is not the reason to why I love him so much...
Everything he does touched my heart... Just love him too much..
Recently we had a lot of quarrel.. making me very sad... i guess to one point it was too big a blow for me... the next day i had a high fever... 38.9 degrees celsius... But we okie ler... hee... He even cooked porridge for me today.. really love you alot.. i hope our journey doesn't end here....